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Uberhot
Uberhot (pronunciation: ooooo-brrrrr-HOT) (adjective) Origin: When, in James Bond's Dr. No Ursula Andress walked out of the ocean wearing nothing but a diver's knife, circa 1962. #An insanely hot woman on whom one cannot gaze without getting an immediate Erection. Factoids and Republican Goddess.]] *Usually possesses Superpowers, excels at killing Bears, Zombies, Communists and Obamatons. *Can beat up Chuck Norris and David Carradine. *They always swallow. A lady knows it's impolite to spit. *Prefer Harley Davidson motorcycles. *They always carry knives and/or guns, usually of a high caliber. *Also known to use Samurai and Katana. *Are usually double jointed. *Uberhotties kissing each other is not Homosexuality. And is blessed by The Baby Jesus. *Oral sex and Sodomy with an Uberhottie is definitely NOT a Sin and is blessed as a Truthyism by The Baby Jesus. Provided Stephen has Nailed her first. *Uberhothotties can time travel and are bred in a Parallel Universe. Therefore can be of any age over 18 (13 in Utah) or era. *Regardless of birth are automatically granted American citizenship. For the ultimate gallery of Uberhotness, Click Here:Venus Rising Examples .]] *Milla Jovovich *Stewardesses (Prior to 1979, after that they became Flight Attendants. Who are fat, ugly and Gay. *Uma Thurman *Daryl Hannah *Danica Patrick *Betty Page *Shania Twain *Sarah Palin * Almost any James Bond Girl *Kelly Lynch *Eliza Dushku *Demi Moore *Mena Suvari *Mira Sorvino *Faith Hill *Dita Von Teese *The entire cast of Crazy Horse Paris *More Uberhotties! ! We have kidnapped her to America and insemenated her with Country Music.]] Lifetime Acheivement Award *Lauren Hutton Ultimate Harley Davidson babe *Christie Brinkley Uptown Girl video is still spankbankable *Candice Bergen Carnal Knowledge with her is not a Sin. Stephen has Nailed her *Ursula Andress The first James Bond Girl *Sophia Loren Better than gelato on a Roman holiday Fictional Uberhotties (after Capt. Janeway).]] *Honey Ryder *Pussy Galore *Catwoman *Echo *Octopussy *G.I. Jane Banishment The Blessing of Uberhotness is a gift from The Baby Jesus soley to please Stephen Colbert. Sadly there are those that would use squander gift for Evil pursuits in the interest of Satan and his minions, the Liberals and Bears. Cause for Banishment of being stripped of Uberhotness.]] Note: This is only a partial list. Banishment is at the sole discretion of our blessed Stephen Colbert. Banishment made be rescinded for most offenses if the offender: Repents, atones, and is Nailed. # Treason (Lifetime) # Adoption of an Alien Mud Baby # Participating in Unamerican activities. # Owning a Prius or other Hybrid car. # Becoming or being: ## Non-hot Lesbian ## $cientologist ## Beard or Fag Hag ## Cardboard Box (Lifetime) ## Obese ## Plastic Surgery Experiment (Lifetime) ## Communist ## An Idiot ## Transsexual (Lifetime) Banished . She should be executed..]] *Angelina Jolie: Mud Baby. *Madonna Ciccone: Mud Baby AND Prius. *Cameron Diaz: Prius (Rumored to have traveled to India and had her eye on Mowgli, a feral Mud Baby). *Britney Spears: Breast Implants, Will grow up to eclipse Jane Fonda as a Communist. *Kirstie Alley: Has a Prius, but can't fit it anymore. $cientologist. *Kelly Preston: Was Uberhot, banished in 1991 when she married John Travolta and L. Ron Hubbard. *Katie Holmes: Married Tom Cruise who is NOT gay. Banned For Life *Hanoi Jane: Traitor, Too many violations to list. Start Here: Jane Fonda Is a Traitor *Cher: Is a Fag Hag. Her daughter son, Chaz is a Transsexual. Has had over 400 face lifts. *Halle Berry: Communist, attempted to reprise Ursula's oceanic uberhotness in "Die Another Day" and Julie Newmar/Eartha Kitt's uberhot "Catwoman" roles. Lack of originality puts her in the Cardboard Box. *Gwyneth Paltrow: Idiot, Prius, Cardboard Box. See Also Other Uberhotties